CindyFrench-stranger than fiction stories

about facing life with hope and confidence, no matter the diagnosis

Archive for the tag “life stories”

01 Jan 2012
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More Reflections Isaiah 55:6-8 and Romans 8:37-39

As I read the notes from many blogs that come my way, one overwhelming theme is there for all of us. We don’t have to know  the future, because we know the One who holds it. After the year that 2011 has been what sane person is not ” seeking the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near. Let the wicked (anyone who is not perfect) forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the Lord, and will have mercy on him and to our God, for he will freely pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts and my ways are not your ways, declares the Lord.”       They are higher and deeper than anything we can imagine about us. What  I am/have discovered this year is this incredible love of God the Father for me–as He has told me over and over how He loves me and then as we began to talk together what I should do, not do, how I wasn’t trusting Him (I am now) And as I face the uncertainty of 2012 as far as my health is concerned–I know without a doubt that HE has a purpose in this new, added on systemic disease too. At the least, it forced me to go to a new doctor who was able to tell me exactly how sick I really am. For that I am truly grateful. I was headed down the dead man walking path and somehow, I do think God still has things for me to do and people to talk to.  But please pray for me that there is something that can be done for the RA pain. To move around is terrible! I feel like an old woman.

I close with one of my favorite passages: …in all things we are more than conquerors through him who loves us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future nor any powers neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Come quickly Lord Jesus!

Posted in asthma, Christianity, chronic fatigue, life stories, Religion, rheumatoid arthritis and tagged , , , , , ,
30 Dec 2011

More Answers!

I saw my wonderful primary  care doc last week and filled her in on my life the last month or so. She had to keep the lights low, I thought I might have pink eye or that maybe the candida infection had gotten into my eyes. They hurt, were very gritty, like stuff was in them. She was very concerned that I could not get into my ophthalmologist until this week and when I told her of the trouble I was having getting in to see the infectious diseases doc-she said, “stay right here, I’ll take care of it”.  And take care of it she did! I had an appointment with the eye doctor the next morning (most important) and then an appointment with infectious diseases the next Tuesday, early morning. Wow! what having a doc on your side does! She also changed the oral med I was taking for the mouth and lip sores since I had had no healing there at all and she told me to be sure that she got feedback from the docs on my visits.

Between then and now (the 29th) these are the scriptures the Lord has given to me–and how I have needed them!  Grace-Filled Waiting- 2 Cor 4:4-18 We do not lose heart and Yet Will I Rejoice- Habakkuk 3:11-19 Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation.  So here is what happened at the doctors-

I saw the ophthalmologist the next morning and truthfully, I don’t think I have ever had such a thorough exam! The first thing he said was-the good news is you don’t have an infection. The bad news is you have the dryest eyes I have ever seen since I have been practicing. This is why you hurt. I couldn’t believe that dry eyes would do that-and I had even had the surgery to help with dry eyes, so how could this be? He said is was all because of my rheumatoid arthritis. I couldn’t believe it-how could it affect my eyes? but he said it was and went on to say there were probably other areas of my body that were being attacked as well. I needed to see my Rheumatoidologist. I told him about the candida and that I was seeing an infectious diseases specialist on the next Tues and he said he’d get all the info on what he had done and ordered to her. In the meantime, he gave me 2 prescriptions for eyedrops-each 4 times/day and in between those times I was to use over the counter tears. AND then he gave me a prescription for several blood tests!  I was shocked! I have never had that happen either.

Needless to say by the time we finally saw the doc on that Tues, she had a lot of information about me. What was amazing was that she had already  read it. Then the second amazing thing happened. She said my major problem is that I have no immunity and that will get me killed. Right now, that is her first concern-to build me up. So she began to ask me what I did, what’s my stress level (ha), extra curricular activities, etc. I was downplaying it, but remember my sister was with me and spoke right up! The hardest thing for me to give up and what I can’t understand the Lord’s way in this is GriefShare. I also have to stop working at night, rest during the day-in fact rest as much as I can any place, any where, any time that I can. She said I really need to be aware of my surroundings at all times because that’s when triggers can strike and right now my goal should be NO ATTACKS–that way, no presnesdone or solu-medrol gets into my body. So I am really praying that I am attack free.

I have no idea how long I need to be so careful, but I am going to have to take the 3 drugs probably for the rest of my life and even if/when I get my immunity built up-no one is going to want to mess with it by giving me asthma drugs unless it is life and death again. Oh what a place to be in! Well I do trust the team I have now. I believe they can and will work together. So my part will be to pray and to rest and to rely on my God-no stress, remember?

Posted in asthma, Christianity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment
11 Dec 2011
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A Systemic Infection!

I saw the pulmonologist. He said there is no need for the bronscopy, he knows it’s everywhere, now that he knows what it is.  As I did, he can track all my infections this year, and the thrush, and the smell. Of course, he looked at me and said “only you!”)  He has put me on an antifungal medicine that is many times stronger than the usual dose. Of course he had to explain that to the insurance company. But I am sure that they want me well so that I don’t continue with so many hospitilizations! And he told them this was the only way! So on the first night  I took 2 pill (400mg) instead of the usual 1pill. Then I am to take them for the next 13 days -gives me a full 2 weeks on the medicine- whereas most people only take the pills for as long as 3 days!  and I don’t know if part of the pill dosage can make a person drag-but this person is! Still I know it is extremely difficult to get rid of and I must get rid of it. They have STOPPED MY REMICAID untill I am rid of it! So now I will be crippled too pretty shortly.

Please pray that I will be strong in the Lord. That I will pray as I know and have experienced! That I will not get down with the pain and let it beat me! I am reading his promises for healing. I  am going to list them so that you can pray as I am praying them-there is power in that.

Jeremiah 17:14  Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me and I shall be saved, for You are my praise.

Psalm 77:10-14 I said, “This is my anguish; But I will remember the years of the right hand of the Most High.” I will remember the works of the Lord; Surely I will remember Your wonders of old. I will also meditate on all Your work. And talk of Your deeds, Your way, O God is in the sanctuary; Who is so great a God as our God? You are the God who does wonders; You have declared Your strength among the peoples.

Psalm 6:2-3 Be merciful to me , Lord, for I am faint; O Lord, heal me, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in anguish. How long, O Lord, how long?    (I underlined these verses in July of 04. I had not found Remicaid yet)

and then all of Psalm 90 which I won’t quote the whole thing here, just a short passage: 90:13-17  Relent, O Lord! How long will it be? Have compassion on your servants. Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all or days. Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble.  May your deeds be shown to your servants, your splendor to their children. May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands –yes, establish the work of our hands.  (underlined in August 20110, BUT  a lot of underlining in my old handwriting so pre 2005)

Posted in asthma, Bible study, life stories, Prayer, Religion, rhuematoid arthritis, surviving major health issues and tagged , , , , ,
08 Dec 2011
1 Comment

“I Know Exactly How You Feel!”

My favorite phrase these days, my validation for who I am and why I am living! But this is what God showed me last night and this morning: in Hebrews 4,  Jesus is the Great High Priest. And even though he has been through the heavens, Jesus is our high priest who can symphatize with our weaknesses-our every sin-because he was tempted as well-yet without sin. He also knows what it is to be cold, be hungry, be thirsty–whatever we are except without sin.

So when I am going through some trial physical or spiritual, Jesus can say to me.  “Oh Cindy, I know exactly how you feel! These are normal feelings, those are not-this is what the Father says about the trouble…” And then He proceeds to give me the comfort that I turn around and give to others, which is all II Corinthians 1:4. Isn’t that just the neatest thing?  Because I understood about His comfort. He has given me so much of it over the years. I don’t think I would have made it without it. But I had never seen Him as the Person going through everything that I was…yet he was.

I guess what I want to convey in this posting is the unlimited, overwhelming, incredible love that Jesus has for his own  that He would do this.  Over and over He’s told me how He love’s me and how  I need to trust him more-much more! And  of course I do trust Him and remind Him I have at least faith the size of a mustard seed! But how I want to grow it and mature myself  in Him. And of course, that means more prayer and Bible study! Thank you Jesus that you answered my heartfelt cry to make me want to study your word, to make me want to spend time with you. Now I have to work it out  to do my other required tasks because I would rather be here with you. Thank you.  On August 5, 2005 I prayed this prayer from Psalm 40:7-8  Then I said, “Here I am, I have come– it is written about in the scroll. I desire to do your will , O my God; your law is within my heart. A few days later,  I was in the hospital getting a cervical fusion and had a stroke. God used that time with me to teach me love and patience and gentleness-but it took this last year to learn to truly trust Him. I have written about some of these experiences-my hospitalization, losing my voice, getting a puppy to get me out of bed; but I just realized that I haven’t written about learning to trust Him.  Maybe He is not ready for me to write of it yet-because He directs my writing, maybe I don’t really trust Him enough yet. I think I do, but the Father knows all things and can certainly see my heart. Well, I am certain of one thing, eventually you will hear that story as well.

Posted in 4 spritual laws, cervical fusions, christian, chronic pain, Prayer, second marriages, single mom, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , ,
07 Dec 2011
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Posted in Christianity, life stories, sleep apnea, Uncategorized and tagged , , , ,
06 Dec 2011

The Reality of Jesus–Always There When I Need Him

My last post was all about me. This one I want to be all about Jesus! He has been with me today, guiding me; comforting me; leading me to scripture I needed to read again; reminding me of those things I know, but sometimes seem to forget in crisis mode.

My Bible study lesson this week actually took us to Hebrews to talk about Jesus’ high Priesthood! As I read the lesson and reflected on what I know to be true from experience and what new words God was opening my eyes to, there were several scriptures:

Hebrews 1:2-3  ” in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son.. whom he appointed heir of all things and through whom he made the universe. The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being sustaining all things by his powerful word.”  just notice a couple of things before we go on– Jesus is the heir of all, he was there and a part of the universe being made. He is the exact representation of God –”if you have seen me, you have seen the Father” and that all things are held together by God’s very word.

Hebrews 2: 17 “For this reason he had to be made like his brothers in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people.”   So he had to not only come to us, but become one of us, thus becoming to God the perfect representative of humanity. He knows exactly where I am, what  I am feeling–all because he has been there.

I’ve said before that the Bible describes the Word of God as the sharp, powerful, penetrating sword –going even to divide soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all  creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Found in Hebrews 4:12-13 by the way, that passage can be a little scary if you stop there!  That’s why it is so important to not take scripture out of context, because in the last section of the chapter, the author reminds you again, that we are not standing alone before God. We have our great high priest, Jesus with us to intercede and to make us holy. I am so glad that when Holy God looks at me, He sees me through Jesus–then and only then am I clean and perfect and make him smile.  I wonder if he calls me Sunshine in heaven?

Posted in 4 spritual laws, Bible study, christian, Prayer, Religion and tagged , , , | Leave a Comment
04 Dec 2011
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FINALLY, AN ANSWER! –OF COURSE, NOT THE ONE I WANTED

I had an endoscopy this last week. It was to check my reflux-in fact to put a little camera in to measure things for 48 hours. We also did it to make sure I hadn’t grown any new polyps this year. Last year, there were 11 of them between my esophagus and stomach.

We ALL got the surprise of our lives to see that I had a fungus ( candidas) growing out of control covering my esophagus all the way down to my stomach. When it is in the esophagus like that they call it, esophagitis. Traditional treatment is Nystatin. It doesn’t work.  I came home and promptly googled everything about the bacteria/fungus. Although it is a natural bacteria residing in the body, when it gets out of wack, it is very dangerous and can make a person very sick. This I know for sure. I believe, based on my reading that I have systemic candidas. Everything that has gone wrong with me this year can be traced back to it. Even the smell of the “bug” as I called it. I could smell it. I kept describing as a sickly sweet smell-yes, yeast! And candidas affects ears, the mouth, intestinal gas, bladder and kidney infections, asthma, RA–does any of this sound familiar? It’s amazing that when it gets in your intestines, it can release 70 different toxins. And of course no culture ever came back positive. Candida is natural to the body!

So I have a plan of action! I am not going to succumb to this! Now that I have a name to pray against and lock up, I will. When I see my pulmonologist next week, I will ask for a bronchosopy. It stands to reason that if its on my esophagus, its on my trachea, in my bronchii, maybe even my lungs–which would explain all the horrendous attacks…yet again why there was no culture. I have also researched a supplement that I have been told about that should really impact this problem-called Protamdin. I have a printout on it and am taking it to the doctor too. Finally all the websites suggested a complete nutritional change-perhaps something as radical as gluten free. I will work with a nutritionist on that. Those are the actions I can take. But mostly I am going to the throne room of my Lord God. I am going to ask for healing of this scourge. Again, now that we know the name, we can pray against it and bind it in Jesus Christ’s name.

I certainly believe it is worse because of my witness. I am out front and center in Linkedin now-this blog address is listed. My beliefs are listed. And when replying to any discussion, it is always whatever God tells me to write. But greater is He that is within me than he that is in the world.

 

Posted in asthma, christian, chronic fatigue, gastrointestinal reflux disease, life stories, Prayer, rheumatoid arthritis, Spirituality, surviving major health issues and tagged , , , , , ,
04 Dec 2011
3 Comments

Yes! A New Pacemaker!

Psalm 28: 7 The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.

and in Psalm 27:1 the Lord is my light and my salvation -whom shall I fear? the Lord is the stronghold of my life-of whom should I be afraid?

Oh, how I have claimed these promises in the last 2 weeks since we had seen the cardiologist! I certainly thought I was prepared for the worst. Even my children were-to the point of–Mom, you will be coming up here to live! But Hallelujah! I don’t think that God is finished with him yet either!  Our visit with the surgeon went very well and he showed us exactly what he would be doing with putting this new kind of pacemaker into Dennis-which will be smaller and much more comfortable-thank you Lord!-but the best news of all? What we couldn’t believe? His heart muscle instead of still being at only 28-30% capacity is now 47% capacity!  The doctors certainly don’t know what to make of it! But I do! My friends and I have been praying diligently for Dennis’ heart to strengthen-for this surgery and for his life–and so God has answered.

Surgery will be on the 20th, so we will have a quiet Christmas here at home. How thankful I am now that we were able to spend the week with the kids in Atlanta for Thanksgiving. That was some of the most precious time I have ever had with any of them…especially my granddaughters! How very thrilled we were when she told us that she wanted to ask Jesus to come and live in her heart. I spent quite a bit of time with her that night and yes Alyse was there and very interested herself. Then the following nights, Cailyn would always come and get me to “tuck her in” and we would again talk and talk. She has so many questions! I hope that she will be helped by her presents that she will be getting for Christmas.  Dennis and I gave it a lot of thought and searched quite a bit for the right things for her.

This of course is what I was living and hoping for-my grandchildren taking an interest in Jesus Christ. Who He is, why He came, what He did for us. I have been praying for this for a long time. Once again, God has been faithful to me.

Posted in christian, chronic fatigue, grandchildren, life stories, Religion, replacement pacemaker, second marriages, Spirituality and tagged , , , ,
27 Nov 2011

A Most Wonderful Thanksgiving– Matthew 5:23-24

If you are familiar with the passage, you are already saying, “A Most Wonderful Thanksgiving?”  The passage reads as follows “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar, First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

I have 5 brothers and sisters. We are ALL very strong willed and opinionated people. When we get together, I am sure that at first it is very daunting for the new spouses, because we interrupt, we talk over one another, we loudly disagree–actually there isn’t much disagreement anymore, but there used to be a lot! I am sure, again because I’ve heard it said, that we come across as very confident, gregarious, and so on. BUT, let me tell you what is true. Underneath those strong willed people are people who have been hurt, mistreated, abused, lied to in some shape or fashion by those we loved and trusted at some point in our lives. I am not just talking about ex-spouses, (some of us have them) or lovers, or friends, but family members, each other, me.

Yes, me. I too have been guilty of assuming, controlling (I called it mothering, but they didn’t), hurting by neglect-just not taking the time for those most important people in my life.  I have had to almost lose my life to learn how very important they are to me–all of them. But you know the best thing about having Holy God for your Father? It is never too late to change! Or rather be changed. Just voicing the desire is enough, He gets right to work. He’s been waiting for me to notice, I’m sure. 

For the last 6 years now, He has been healing relationships that I can really track. This last week seemed to be the culmination of that, bring us together for the holiday several times, different ways with different people. God allowing me to really listen and make right a relationship that I had made all the wrong assumptions about years ago! What a wasted time. But I have already prayed that He will restore the years that the locusts ate here too. I am excited and so looking forward to having new “real” relationships-not relationships just based on kinship. How neat it was on the last day  that we’d all be together, that nobody was ready to quit hanging together yet, so we just traded one venue for another! And of course it’s great that it’s not just happening to me and my relationships but to the others too.

You may be asking how exactly that passage in Matthew fits here. All I can say is that for several years, whenever I took communion, and this passage was read, it made me think of family-my family-t he need to be reconciled one to another, to forgive petty grievances, or large for that matter. I did take this as a command when Jesus says, “First go…” I promise it is much easier to obey than to suffer the consequences. And the final result when you are obedient is spectacular! 

Older and wiser you may say—and you’d be right. But this is so much more than that though. This is God at His Finest Work-healing relationships. This has been brought about by much prayer, first started by my parents who are now with the Lord and then continued by my sister and me because we too thought it was so important. Isn’t God Great?

Posted in A Thanksgiving Story, Christianity, divorce, miscarriage and tagged , , , | Leave a Comment
23 Nov 2011
1 Comment

Isaiah 51:12-16

The Lord took me back to Isaiah this morning and I thought I’d share. He has been so good to us this past week with answered prayer for the family. I think I wrote about prayer before. If I didn’t, I am sure, He will definitely have me write about it in the future, because these days, it all revolves around my Father God and His direction.

verses 12-16

 I, even I, am he who comforts you, Who are you that you fear mortal men, the sons of men, who are but grass, that you forget the Lord your Maker who stretched out the heavens and laid the foundations of the earth, that you live in constant terror every day because of the oppressor who is bent on destruction?   For where is the wrath of the oppressor?  The cowering prisoners will soon be set free;  they will not lack bread. For I am the Lord your God who churns up the sea so that its waves roar– the Lord Almighty is his name. I have put my words in your mouth and covered you with the shadow of my hand–I who set the heavens in place, who laid the foundations of the earth, and who say to Zion, “are my People”.

So you may be wondering, Cindy, what is so special about those verses? Well first and foremost, God is my Comforter. I know that regardless of what is happening in my world, He is there; that everything that touches me has gone through His fingertips first. I know that I should not live in fear. Fear from others. Fear from what is going to happen to my world. For the Lord God , my Maker stretched out His hand and made the heavens and the earth. I do not have to live in constant fear from the Oppressor of this world, I belong to Another. And He will, has always, is – taking care of me. I can count on Him like no other.  The Lord Almighty is His name and He not only puts words in MY mouth, He is my voice literally. He covers me and protects me so that regardless of all I have been through, I have still come out able to live, function, work, and experience joy!

Posted in Bible study, Christianity, life stories and tagged , ,

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