CindyFrench-stranger than fiction stories

2005 A Year of Drastic Change

cindyhfrench — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 23:40:57 +0000

I mentioned in my last post that I had my last cervical fusion in 2005. It was August, I had produced enough sales in July and August to give me great billings for a year that had been very slow and difficult so far. I was driving to Atlanta when my neurosurgeon called with my MRI results. For the first time in my dealings with him, he sounded anxious and concerned. I had a disk that had herniated into the spinal cord among other things. He told me not to lift a grandchild, or anything for that matter and to walk around like I was walking on eggs! If things got worse, I could have been paralyzed! Needless to say, I was really careful that weekend!

I came back home and began to plan for the surgery. I wasn’t particularly concerned. I HAD done this twice before! The great thing about this time was already having and working from a home office–frankly, I didn’t think I’d miss a step!

I really did fine with the surgery. I remember walking around the floor that first night, but sometime during the night, I knew even as I lay asleep that I was in trouble! I couldn’t wake up! That was my last conscience thought for THREE days.

My husband found me not breathing the next morning. In a panic, he yelled for help, not remembering my living will-which was ok-but soon my room was filled with doctors and nurses and senior staff. They apparently tried a lot of things to get me to awaken once they had me breathing again. Nothing worked and I was moved to ICU. ( I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall during all this) At any rate, I spent three days on a narcaine drip, sound asleep. My husband said that they kept telling him they were doing everything possible.

When I awoke, I had been moved back to my room and to my surprise, I had no voice! Also trying to eat, I choked on everything, even liquids! Apparently I had suffered a stroke, had a paralyzed vocal cord and the little flap over my esophagus and trachea didn’t work right and so I was choking. Pretty quickly, the paralysis was diagnosed. I had a specialist who came in and showed me how to eat-with my head turned to my left shoulder and pulled down as low as I could. I could only handle soft things, or thickened liquids and I couldn’t call for help with no voice. They also hooked me up to all kinds of monitors that went off all the time, but no one ever checked. It was not a good time.

One would think I would be devastated, but honestly God was closer to me than almost any other time in my life. I have so much scripture underlined with margin notes of that time in the hospital. Nights were the worst. Dennis had to leave me to work and I couldn’t sleep much because of the meds I was on. The following are some of the scriptures and notes that I made and I cherish now.

First, there was confidence that I was going to be healed…I thought my neck…God knew my voice, mind, and eating abilities…Psalm 41:3 The Lord will sustain him on his sickbed and restore him from his bed of illness. Aug 8, 2005.

Also I had been praying for a real hunger for His Word and the next day, God gave me Psalm 42:1-2 As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you O God. My souls thirsts for God, for the Living God. When can I go and meet with God?…little did I know that soon I would be able to only do that!

The rest of the scriptures are pretty self-explanatory-night prayers, claims for my voice, worship.

Psalm 42:8 By day the Lord directs His love, at night His song is within me-a prayer to the God of my life. 11 Put your hope in God for I will yet praise HIm, my Saviour and my God. Psalm 43:2-5 You are God my stronghold. Send forth you light and you truth , let them guide me let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place you where you dwell. Then will I go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight. I will praise you with the harp, O God, my God. Put your hope in God for will yet praise Him, my Saviour and my God.

There are so many more-but I can not write them all here. But believe me, the Psalms are a great way to get to know God.

A Little Backwards…

cindyhfrench — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 21:46:10 +0000

In thinking back to previous years and incidents that have defined my life, I realize that I am either defined by the year’s medical crisis, a new baby, or God’s specific calling and teaching. The last specific time I wrote about was the neck surgery in 1995. I had another fusion in 1997 and again in 2005. I actually have really good motion for my head in spite of the fusions. Of course, I worked very hard in physical therapy. Again, I was working, leading a successful office for MRI. I loved what I did and felt such a responsibility-to my staff-to my clients-and to my candidates. Over the course of the 90’s I was very privileged to be in the top ten status with our company. I was very thankful as I did have different physical obstacles to overcome, but knew that they didn’t interfere with the business. On the other hand, what might we have accomplished without my constant medical crisis’?

The next few years, I suffered my first serious asthma attack which I barely survived and an aspergillus fungus in my sinus that was slowly killing me! These are such weird, off the wall ailments. Then there was RSD (reflex sympathetic dystrophy) in my back and a strange infection in my breasts after having more reconstructive work done. I look back at all this and I am amazed: 1. that I kept having so much stuff happen to my body 2. that they were strange, unusual ailments 3. except for God’s intervention I wouldn’t be here today.

And One More Thing!

cindyhfrench — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 02:10:20 +0000

Just when I thought I might be getting better–I’m not. The last two days, I have worked-had full days as a matter of fact, but the headache is once again getting worse. I am back to 2 percocet at a time again and I am having breakthrough nausea even with the compezine.

I went to the gastroenterologist this morning after a week of worsening heart burn. It has gotten down to where much of what I eat and drink burns me. The thought is that six months of daily vomiting could have damaged my existing hiatal hernia further or started an ulcer. I am scheduled for an endoscopy next week to see. In the meantime, I am taking another drug-this one for Reflux.

My asthma is better and I am tapering down my steroid dosage. Still, looking at my round face, I can tell the side effects! In three weeks, I’ll take the “gold standard for diabetes testing” so they can tell me I have diabetes! I mean it, have you every heard of anyone that had so much wrong with their body? I honestly don’t know if I am just wearing out my parts or if maybe something something so systemic-like diabetes-or my asthma-is the culprit! I guess I will be finding out!

All these feelings after such a precious time Wednesday night with my pastors! I did hope for an instant miracle, but I can see that this is not to be, at least for right now. Still as I re-read the devotional sent to me last year and which I saved, I continue to be reminded that God is not punishing me. I do believe He is using all this to prune me, but also to touch those others that come into my sphere who are also sufferning. Every day there is just one someone who needs to hear Jesus’ story and how it’s impacted my life and can impact them as well.

Anointing and Prayer

cindyhfrench — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 03:13:34 +0000

I guess it’s a terrible thing when we seem to go to God last for healing. I know I have certainly exhausted the circle of doctors, medical centers and the internet for help, treatment and information. I have prayed all along as have so many others been praying for me too, that I know we weren’t ignoring God or His Great Physician role, but I wasn’t exactly embracing it either.
So, today we got serious and with my pastors around me, they prayed specifically for my healing while anointing me with oil as it says to do in James 5:13-15 “Are you hurting? Pray. Do you feel great? Sing. Are you sick? Call the church leaders together to pray and anoint you with oil in the name of the Master (Jesus Christ). Believing prayer will heal you, and Jesus will put you on your feet. And if you’ve sinned, you’ll be forgiven-healed inside and out.” [The Message version]

We talked of how Jesus has used my infirmities of which there are so many-to connect with others suffering the same thing. I had just been praying to be stronger, thinking I could do more if I were stronger, but Pastor Craig pointed out that when I am weak, Jesus is strong! How could I ever forget that? Yet that wasn’t my focus-yes it was on me and how I felt. I am very tired of pain and nausea and very tired of being so tired! Sometimes I have to sleep most of a day just to keep up! I have certainly wondered to what purpose that was! However, I must acknowledge that when I have to take the time to sleep, God always seems to make up the time for me. Even today, working out of bed on my laptop and cell phone, I accomplished more than some days when I am in my office all day on the phone. So yes, I am blessed and humbled by His care for me even in the details.

I do know that God heals miraculously. He has healed me before as that was to His purpose. I hope it is again.

Great Fried Shrimp

cindyhfrench — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 03:10:57 +0000

I did friend shrimp recently and I think it was restaurant worthy! I think the difference is a double “breading” and using PANKO.

I simply soaked my cleaned shrimp in some lemon water for about 15 min. Then I shook them and put them in flour, covering them well. I shook them again and this time put them in a whipped raw egg, shook again and then dredged in PANKO. I then fried them in my Little Fry Baby. Delicious!!

SUNDAY, February 28, 2010

cindyhfrench — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 03:03:53 +0000

Hard to believe that February has come and gone without me writing a note! But it also shows that I have been really busy, trying to work, and when I wasn’t working, I was flat out! Praise God that I HAVE work to do!

I have to admit I haven’t been too good at the 2 hours up and 2 hours down thing. I get on a roll with my calls and I look up and 4 hours have passed and I am dying! Well, not literally, of course, but extreme fatigue and slowly but surely diminishing pain…at least that was true until last week, when things seem to be accelerating again! I still hurt a lot on the right side and it is smushy to the side of where they opened me up in December. Well, I do see the neuro Dr this week, I think. I know I can’t live on pills for the rest of my life! I did see where one doctor had referred to my problem as parietal foraminas. Wonder if that is a diagnosis?

But there have been really nice things happening. I am seeing people and continuing to share my faith and my life with those to whom I come in contact. Sometimes, I think I am continuing to suffer for the story God has given me. I love the people I am meeting and connecting with–sometimes it is a new family connection–my very wise sister-in-law for instance has had some major insight for me. Or my new friend, breast cancer buddy Alicia who calls me every 2 weeks. We only met for a few minutes in the doctor’s office, but she reached out to me for comfort and some insight as one who has been there. I plan to be there for her surgery this month. A new believer after our 2nd conversation, I only can praise the Lord God for His precious mercy and grace in allowing me to be a part of opening her eyes to Jesus!

I am also able to drive again. Yes, thank you Jesus-that is another “better”. Our GriefShare ministry has started up again. My precious husband has been driving me, but that will stop as again, thank you Jesus, he has a new job he is starting tomorrow!!!

God is so good. Just when you think you can’t go on anymore in your own strength, He calmly takes over and does more and better than you ever could! A wonderful lesson at church today from Colossians showed how very far I have yet to go. My BSF study in I John confirmed it for me this afternoon if I had any doubt!

Thank God, I believe He is coming soon! The earth is groaning even and ready for His Renewal. I am ready too.

More and More, Better and Better

cindyhfrench — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 21:54:23 +0000

We came right back from Christmas in Atlanta to pre-op and then surgery on the second hole in my head. They opened up my scalp and followed the spinal fluid leak, along with looking for other holes. Once again, cutting off all that was growing out of the hole, then sewing my head back up. Believe it or not, I went home that evening-way too soon for me! I woke up at midnight feeling like my head was going to explode-pretty horrible pain. Putting ice on my head and taking the painkillers got me through the night, but just barely. And so began, my first week of the new year. Taking so much Vicodin (yes, prescribed dosage), my pharmacist said I had to switch to something else or I’d be in liver failure in 2 wks. So then there was the percoset which did a better job and I thought I was getting better. But oh no, here comes the headache again, only made worse by bending over or coughing, vomiting-the pressure was once again excruitiating! This time, the surgeons turned me back over to the neurologist. They said they had fixed what obviously needed to be fixed and had no ideas of where to go from here.

After speaking with the neurologist at length, a spinal tap was scheduled. I thought, “surely, this will resolve all my problems. I’ve just got too much pressure now after not enough pressure before”. Maybe true, maybe not, but unfortunately for me, the spinal tap showed abnormal fluid and being one of those 5% of the population that the tap hole doesn’t close, I developed a headache that became truly unbearable along with a case of atypical menningitis. I was a sick puppy and went back into the hospital this last week. Demerol every 3 hours around the clock was a wonderful release from so much pain for so long! After the 2nd tap and then blood patch, that headache was gone, the antibiotics had cleared up the menningitis, but the original headache was back-not beginning to be as bad as it had been, but the longer I am up, the worse it gets.

So after 4 days in the hospital, I came home and then we saw the neurologist again on Friday. He believes that I have to very slowly adjust to being up, take the pain meds, but on a reduced basis and eventually my head will settle down. It HAS had a lot done to it in a short amount of time! And the kind of surgery I’ve had could mess with the spinal fluid, so for now, I am trying very hard to take his advice. Just be up 2 hours at a time and then down for two. Hopefully, he is right. Worst case, we’ll know pretty quickly if he is wrong…

I Keep Dodging Bullets!

cindyhfrench — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 00:39:57 +0000

Thanksgiving was good but interesting. Some of my family was here and that was wonderful. Personally however, I continued to go downhill. Several times, I thought we would go to the ER, but then things would settle down and I would put it off. I guess the good thing was I didn’t gain that 5 lbs that a lot of people do.

On Monday, we visited my doctor, who insisted that I go right to the ER. I was admitted and they began all their tests. I think they first wanted to rule out a stroke or TIA, but I knew it was simply my head again. It took all of Tuesday for the doctors to confab again. It turns out that my first angiogram-done at another hospital-completely missed the area of the original tumor from where my pain was originating. So, they did another one Wednesday and I was diagnosed with occipital neuropathy. Of course my internet research savvy kids said this was exactly all my symptoms! It even described my pain better than I did. (I had used screwdrivers digging in my head as a description.) The temporary solution to this is nerve blocks into the occipital nerves-both of mine since both sides of my head are inflamed. The permanent approach is to cut the nerves or to strip them down. I don’t know which will be best for me and hope to find out next week. I’d like to get all this done before Christmas! I really want to go to Atlanta for Christmas with my family!

So what am I learning through all this? I tell you one thing-I had such a hard time with this pain, yet I kept thinking about Christ’s suffering and knew it was so much worse…I couldn’t imagine as I could hardly stand it sometimes. I know I will be able to better understand others’ pain as I know without a doubt that God will bring those people into my sphere in the near future.

I am also even more appreciative than ever of my sweet husband. He was with me through think and then every day. I also am aware of answered prayer! I know this diagnosis could have been so much worse, but I believe that with people praying on my behalf, God has answered in a way that is not nothing at all, but at least is fixable. Without praying people, I might be dead today. I am so aware of those prayers! And so very, very thankful.

So, I’ll be back to play another day! Blessings!

I Am So Thankful

cindyhfrench — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 02:18:24 +0000

I spent the morning catching up on my sleep after my interesting stay at the hospital. After checking further, the pharmacist should have known that morphine and dilaudid were related and that I would be in danger of an allergic reaction!! I will be much more careful in the future before taking new drugs!

We are having Thanksgiving here-for probably the last time-as we do hope to sell the house and go smaller next year. I spent the afternoon setting my table-ironing the linens, polishing silver, placing the china, silver and crystal. I used a large metal “horn” that I have and placed all colors and sizes of gourds in it for my centerpiece. For candles, I got out tiny little turkey candle holders for slim tall tapers. My table is white, red and gold (yellow) and so pretty!

Dennis finished the girls’ special Christmas presents and then helped me by doing the final grocery shopping for things we didn’t/couldn’t get yesterday. And then, he cleaned my ovens!! I have never heard of a husband that would clean an oven-but there he was scrubbing away so that I would not hurt my hands any further! What a wonderful, special man I am married to! I know that Jesus is taking note of all Dennis does for me-he has to have the most wonderful for jewels for his crown in heaven! All I could do was stand there and cry and thank God for him.

This certainly is not all that Dennis does for us, for our home. He completely takes care of the laundry, nine times out of ten, he cooks and cleans up! When I cook, he cleans up. He takes care of our home both inside and out-whatever he can do to free me to work or to rest-whatever I need at the time. He also chauffeurs me around, as much of the time lately, I can’t drive. He takes our puppy Max and a book and they wait for me to finish a meeting or an appointment.

This week as a lot of my family comes to join us-I look back over the last year and all that has transpired. I see so much more good than bad-regardless of the financial struggles-the day by day dependence and growing relationship with my Heavenly Father has taken precedence over everything else I think about or do. In every situation, I find myself thinking “what’s the lesson here?” or “what is God doing ?” or “who am I to share all this with?” My continuing Bible study with BSF and how what I learn intertwines with my GriefShare Ministry as well as daily devotionals that I read or are sent to me, continue to amaze me as I know that is my Father speaking directly to me and my circumstances.

So, regardless of what I am dealing with physically, or financially–I feel tremendously thankful and blessed- I truly have everything that gives one joy and peace.

Wrong Diagnosis!!

cindyhfrench — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 02:10:40 +0000

I had my brain angiogram yesterday. To the great surprise of my nuero doc, I do not have any fistulae, no arteriovenous malformations! I do have an inordinate number of blood vessels all over my scalp, but no tumor in the brain, no aneurysm. This is all great news!

The only bad news is that I still have a tremendous headache; I still have fluid in 3 pockets on my head; still have the nausea and dizziness–and NO ANSWERS!

I have to admit that at first, I cried. It is very frustrating to know that something is wrong with you, but hard to diagnose! I was very happy that it wasn’t as horrible a diagnosis as they thought, but all I was dealing with yesterday was an excruciating headache. After taking Vicodin, to no avail, they gave me Dilaulid as I am allergic to Morphine. Unfortunately, we very quickly found out that I am also severely allergic to the Dilaulid-it started with severe itching and then my asthma kicked in and very soon I was coughing and wheezing and not getting my breath. Thank goodness for one of the nurses who is also asthmatic-she got me the right meds pretty quickly, but I still had to stay overnight in the hospital. It was 3 in the morning before I was really able to settle down and sleep.

Needless to say, I scared my neuro doc to death! He is not used to dealing with asthma or any side effects from meds. I told him I am a walking “Murphey’s Law” when we first met. I think he believes it now! The next step is a confab between him and all the nuero docs at USF. He will present my tests, scans, notes and his findings on Tuesday to them and hopefully someone will have an idea of what I have or what to do next!