CindyFrench-stranger than fiction stories

And it is really all about prayer

cindyhfrench — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 04:27:00 +0000

Ohmigoodness, did I get some lessons on Thursday this week! First I learned that sometimes, we just can’t pray right or enough for ourselves. It takes the power of two or more just like scripture says. And then once re-learning that lesson, I had to learn again, that my things, my people and my pets aren’t mine.

Let me start at the beginning. Last Thursday, I was trying hard to get out of my car and then retrieve my purse and Bible for the weekly Bible study group I go to (BSF) A woman nearby saw me struggling and asked if she could help me. I said yes, if you have some Remicade or some pain medication, kinda flippantly. But she came right over and looked at me and said you look like you are in terrible pain. I said I am. I don’t think there is a place I don’t hurt, cause even my lip still hurts at this point. She said, “Let me pray for you.” And then she sort of put her arms around me and she began to pray and I mean pray. I knew this woman was no stranger to prayer and so my heart and mind and spirit joined with hers and agreed with her prayer for my healing. Then when she was done, she took my chin in her fingers, looked me in the eyes and said now you believe it! And then she walked right off into the building.

I gathered my things and took my first few steps and immediately knew that I had no pain, I stood up straight and walked faster-a normal gait-without pain. I entered the building and signed in, got my lesson for the next week and went and sat down next to one of my friends. I was in a daze! She said, “what’s up with you?” I told her what had happened in the parking lot–we both got tears in our eyes and then it was time for the hymns. I usually try to skip this part, because I haven’t been able to sing since my stroke 6 yrs ago–generally I just hum along, but I was urged to open my mouth and sing and so I did and I sang! I don’t know how good I sounded, but let me tell you, to me going from a frog sounding voice to singing back to more of a soprano or close to it was amazing! So now I am thinking wonder what else is healed? Cause I have lot’s of fallen apparts. I am 60. It happens. But I thought I had had everything fixed that could be fixed way before now. Turns out I was wrong.

I was hurting so much I couldn’t do for myself-I needed that prayer for me. So we need to make it a purpose in our lives for those we know that are sick to go and pray for them-cause they can’t do it themselves, regardless of how strong a believer or prayer warrior they are. That was lesson number 1.

Today is Friday. My Catch-up day-stay home if at all possible day. Things are going well today. Both Dennis and I are getting a lot done. I am very happy because someone I have been recruiting has said yes and is now almost immediately scheduled for an interview. My other calls have gone ok–at least there are things to possibly follow-up on. The market is still so soft here. And when you feel personally involved with a candidate, it makes it tough when you can’t help them. I had just finished a call and my Yorkie who had been on his little bed to the left of my desk was now on my Book of Lists and I could hear the mess-I looked down and he wasn’t making a mess, he was having a seizure. I grabbed him really fast and ran outside to Dennis who had just started washing my car. I was screaming (I don’t do emergencies well, unless they are mine) put the water down and come get the dog! Literally he did throw it down and took Max from me, immediately trying to soothe him and stop the seizure. He walked into the house and I saw the water gushing straight up into the sky and ran to turn it off. Dennis loves that little dog just like I do. It took about 5 minutes for him to stop. This was the second one he’d had–6 or 7 months ago he’d had a short little one but we weren’t really sure that ‘s what it was and he was so fine after, we didn’t do anything. But this time, we rushed up to our vet. Max checked out ok with his blood, etc. So we were told just to watch him. That if the seizures became more frequent or lasted longer, there was medication for him. Best case, he might have a mild case of epilepsy, worst case he’s growing a brain tumor; but it would take an MRI to rule that out-stupid right now and probably impossibly expensive if necessary later. So tonight we got to pray over our puppy whom we both love very much-but again is God’s and we accept that. I also had to pray over an ailing husband…who just hasn’t felt right all day. And when they are heart patients with new pacemakers, it makes it hard to trust and wait things out. But This IS What God has wanted of me. For me to see Him in every detail of my life. Everything that touches it–He has touched it first. Lesson #2

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cindyhfrench — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 20:30:57 +0000

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A Breakthrough

cindyhfrench — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 23:42:08 +0000

I thought I had all of the answers the last time I wrote. Oh, how wrong I was on that one! I thought we had understood and really comprehended what I have, what I need to do, the consequences when I don’t–but as I began to read about immunoglobulin disorder, I’ve found it’s not so simple-especially mine, since it is genetic. The one light hope is that a friend of mine is in the business and has great reassured me about the safety of the infusions, because to get one small little infection would be a catastrophe for me. My numbers in that particular area are so low, that I truly have no immunity and I have no stamina. I also can no longer be on Remicaid, the only thing keeping the RA pain under control so I am back to Vicodin of course you really can’t take it as often as you need to because you have to work. I also found out that Vitamin D has to do with your immunity and I don’t make it either! I wish I had had my docs really conferring together two years ago-might have avoided some of last year, but I know there were lessons that God wanted me to learn through everything.

I have to admit to being a little overwhelmed this week. I’ve been trying to do what the doc said, trying to work, trying to be a wife.. I know that’s what they’ll tell me on Monday anyway.Each morning Dennis and I have prayed for wisdom and guidance, for strength and healing for me and I would just do what I had to do. Work through my day. Get it done. But today as I was driving home from a couple of errands, I started to pray as I passed a couple of churches and then the sun broke through the clouds. It was beautiful and the Lord began to tell me again that I could do all things through Him. That He knew that pain and would bear it for me. He reminded me that nothing touches me that hasn’t been filtered through the Father. I told him I was glad they had such confidence in me, but that I am not that sure of me at all. That’s when Jesus reminded me that he carries me when things get to be too much for me.

SO FINALLY, all of a sudden, I felt this release and I could then say thank you for my circumstances, whatever they may be, because I know that when the Lord takes me places, He puts me with people that need to hear about Jesus. Then I began to pray for those people that the Lord is going to bring to me. That He will be calling to them, preparing their hearts and minds for the Good News.

More Reflections Isaiah 55:6-8 and Romans 8:37-39

cindyhfrench — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 04:29:19 +0000

As I read the notes from many blogs that come my way, one overwhelming theme is there for all of us. We don’t have to know the future, because we know the One who holds it. After the year that 2011 has been what sane person is not ” seeking the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near. Let the wicked (anyone who is not perfect) forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the Lord, and will have mercy on him and to our God, for he will freely pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts and my ways are not your ways, declares the Lord.” They are higher and deeper than anything we can imagine about us. What I am/have discovered this year is this incredible love of God the Father for me–as He has told me over and over how He loves me and then as we began to talk together what I should do, not do, how I wasn’t trusting Him (I am now) And as I face the uncertainty of 2012 as far as my health is concerned–I know without a doubt that HE has a purpose in this new, added on systemic disease too. At the least, it forced me to go to a new doctor who was able to tell me exactly how sick I really am. For that I am truly grateful. I was headed down the dead man walking path and somehow, I do think God still has things for me to do and people to talk to. But please pray for me that there is something that can be done for the RA pain. To move around is terrible! I feel like an old woman.

I close with one of my favorite passages: …in all things we are more than conquerors through him who loves us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future nor any powers neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Come quickly Lord Jesus!

Reflections–December 31, 2011

cindyhfrench — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 01:14:56 +0000

What a year! Eight times in the hospital for me, twice for my husband, a move– and then there was my whole new deepening relationship with the Lord God. Learning to trust Him for even the basics, learning about His LOVE for me even more incredible. Having Him with me in the ER in May, so surreal now, but thank goodness I wrote about it when it was fresh. Going back over and over to the ER for the asthma, even in Atlanta, at least it’s been since September now.

And my husband had his pacemaker replaced. Hallelujah what a difference in how he feels! It is amazing. I have been praying about his pain-doesn’t have it anymore. I had been praying about how uncomfortable his defibulator/pacemaker was-doesn’t have it anymore. I had been praying about his breathing–he is breathing so freely now.This is great to see the Lord God answer my prayers.

Now my husband says “get well, too”–

The Night Before

cindyhfrench — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 01:50:14 +0000

My beloved husband has to get a new pacemaker in the morning. His heart ventricles aren’t in sync, so a pacemaker that will make all 4 work together is needed. He is a bit nervous about all this. He told me tonight, “Cindy, it’s not like you, You go all the time for surgery for this or that, but I don’t.” “I know” I said and told him to give his spirit to Jesus for safekeeping while he is out–that’s what I always do. That was written the night of Dec 19, 2011.

Today is December 29th and my husband has done superbly! almost no pain, in fact the almost constant pain he had had in the middle of his chest where they had cut it before is now gone. And he can breathe so much better! God has answered all my prayers for his recovery. How very thankful I have been as we were together through this Christmas. He says he feels terrific–and now he looks over at me and says you better get well! thank you Jesus for your healing stripes. thank you for your sacrifice. don’t let anyone forget what Christmas is really about this year, Lord. Thank you again for coming to our world to save us.

More New Meds!

cindyhfrench — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 02:05:50 +0000

We went back to the GI Dot today for follow up after my endoscopy last week. He told us that in all his years of practice, he had never seen such a bad, overwhelming case of this systemic candida. I saw pictures and compared with what it is supposed to look like vs what it does look like is amazing. It’s like one of those powdered donuts you buy instead being a glazed donut. Yeah, pretty awful comparison, isn’t it?

Well, at least I know I am not crazy. There are physical reasons for all that I have been through and am going through now. I think the fatigue is the hardest thing, because it is so overwhelming. So I got a bottle of ProBiotics. I am to take a double dose every day for 2 months. I am already on the antifungal double dose for 3 weeks with the warning I may have to stay on it longer too. I am not sure how they will determine if the stuff is gone.

All I know is Greater Is He That Is Within Me Than He That Is In The World. I know He has a purpose to all of this. But I have to say honestly tonight, it is hard. The sores on my mouth are not healing, but seemingly worse and larger–I would assume because of the infection. But I don’t know who to see, or what to do about it-other than to pray.

A Systemic Infection!

cindyhfrench — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 01:04:31 +0000

I saw the pulmonologist. He said there is no need for the bronscopy, he knows it’s everywhere, now that he knows what it is. As I did, he can track all my infections this year, and the thrush, and the smell. Of course, he looked at me and said “only you!”) He has put me on an antifungal medicine that is many times stronger than the usual dose. Of course he had to explain that to the insurance company. But I am sure that they want me well so that I don’t continue with so many hospitilizations! And he told them this was the only way! So on the first night I took 2 pill (400mg) instead of the usual 1pill. Then I am to take them for the next 13 days -gives me a full 2 weeks on the medicine- whereas most people only take the pills for as long as 3 days! and I don’t know if part of the pill dosage can make a person drag-but this person is! Still I know it is extremely difficult to get rid of and I must get rid of it. They have STOPPED MY REMICAID untill I am rid of it! So now I will be crippled too pretty shortly.

Please pray that I will be strong in the Lord. That I will pray as I know and have experienced! That I will not get down with the pain and let it beat me! I am reading his promises for healing. I am going to list them so that you can pray as I am praying them-there is power in that.

Jeremiah 17:14 Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me and I shall be saved, for You are my praise.

Psalm 77:10-14 I said, “This is my anguish; But I will remember the years of the right hand of the Most High.” I will remember the works of the Lord; Surely I will remember Your wonders of old. I will also meditate on all Your work. And talk of Your deeds, Your way, O God is in the sanctuary; Who is so great a God as our God? You are the God who does wonders; You have declared Your strength among the peoples.

Psalm 6:2-3 Be merciful to me , Lord, for I am faint; O Lord, heal me, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in anguish. How long, O Lord, how long? (I underlined these verses in July of 04. I had not found Remicaid yet)

and then all of Psalm 90 which I won’t quote the whole thing here, just a short passage: 90:13-17 Relent, O Lord! How long will it be? Have compassion on your servants. Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all or days. Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble. May your deeds be shown to your servants, your splendor to their children. May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands –yes, establish the work of our hands. (underlined in August 20110, BUT a lot of underlining in my old handwriting so pre 2005)

“I Know Exactly How You Feel!”

cindyhfrench — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 01:05:18 +0000

My favorite phrase these days, my validation for who I am and why I am living! But this is what God showed me last night and this morning: in Hebrews 4, Jesus is the Great High Priest. And even though he has been through the heavens, Jesus is our high priest who can symphatize with our weaknesses-our every sin-because he was tempted as well-yet without sin. He also knows what it is to be cold, be hungry, be thirsty–whatever we are except without sin.

So when I am going through some trial physical or spiritual, Jesus can say to me. “Oh Cindy, I know exactly how you feel! These are normal feelings, those are not-this is what the Father says about the trouble…” And then He proceeds to give me the comfort that I turn around and give to others, which is all II Corinthians 1:4. Isn’t that just the neatest thing? Because I understood about His comfort. He has given me so much of it over the years. I don’t think I would have made it without it. But I had never seen Him as the Person going through everything that I was…yet he was.

I guess what I want to convey in this posting is the unlimited, overwhelming, incredible love that Jesus has for his own that He would do this. Over and over He’s told me how He love’s me and how I need to trust him more-much more! And of course I do trust Him and remind Him I have at least faith the size of a mustard seed! But how I want to grow it and mature myself in Him. And of course, that means more prayer and Bible study! Thank you Jesus that you answered my heartfelt cry to make me want to study your word, to make me want to spend time with you. Now I have to work it out to do my other required tasks because I would rather be here with you. Thank you. On August 5, 2005 I prayed this prayer from Psalm 40:7-8 Then I said, “Here I am, I have come– it is written about in the scroll. I desire to do your will , O my God; your law is within my heart. A few days later, I was in the hospital getting a cervical fusion and had a stroke. God used that time with me to teach me love and patience and gentleness-but it took this last year to learn to truly trust Him. I have written about some of these experiences-my hospitalization, losing my voice, getting a puppy to get me out of bed; but I just realized that I haven’t written about learning to trust Him. Maybe He is not ready for me to write of it yet-because He directs my writing, maybe I don’t really trust Him enough yet. I think I do, but the Father knows all things and can certainly see my heart. Well, I am certain of one thing, eventually you will hear that story as well.