CindyFrench-stranger than fiction stories » Uncategorized

A Breakthrough

cindyhfrench — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 23:42:08 +0000

I thought I had all of the answers the last time I wrote. Oh, how wrong I was on that one! I thought we had understood and really comprehended what I have, what I need to do, the consequences when I don’t–but as I began to read about immunoglobulin disorder, I’ve found it’s not so simple-especially mine, since it is genetic. The one light hope is that a friend of mine is in the business and has great reassured me about the safety of the infusions, because to get one small little infection would be a catastrophe for me. My numbers in that particular area are so low, that I truly have no immunity and I have no stamina. I also can no longer be on Remicaid, the only thing keeping the RA pain under control so I am back to Vicodin of course you really can’t take it as often as you need to because you have to work. I also found out that Vitamin D has to do with your immunity and I don’t make it either! I wish I had had my docs really conferring together two years ago-might have avoided some of last year, but I know there were lessons that God wanted me to learn through everything.

I have to admit to being a little overwhelmed this week. I’ve been trying to do what the doc said, trying to work, trying to be a wife.. I know that’s what they’ll tell me on Monday anyway.Each morning Dennis and I have prayed for wisdom and guidance, for strength and healing for me and I would just do what I had to do. Work through my day. Get it done. But today as I was driving home from a couple of errands, I started to pray as I passed a couple of churches and then the sun broke through the clouds. It was beautiful and the Lord began to tell me again that I could do all things through Him. That He knew that pain and would bear it for me. He reminded me that nothing touches me that hasn’t been filtered through the Father. I told him I was glad they had such confidence in me, but that I am not that sure of me at all. That’s when Jesus reminded me that he carries me when things get to be too much for me.

SO FINALLY, all of a sudden, I felt this release and I could then say thank you for my circumstances, whatever they may be, because I know that when the Lord takes me places, He puts me with people that need to hear about Jesus. Then I began to pray for those people that the Lord is going to bring to me. That He will be calling to them, preparing their hearts and minds for the Good News.

Reflections–December 31, 2011

cindyhfrench — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 01:14:56 +0000

What a year! Eight times in the hospital for me, twice for my husband, a move– and then there was my whole new deepening relationship with the Lord God. Learning to trust Him for even the basics, learning about His LOVE for me even more incredible. Having Him with me in the ER in May, so surreal now, but thank goodness I wrote about it when it was fresh. Going back over and over to the ER for the asthma, even in Atlanta, at least it’s been since September now.

And my husband had his pacemaker replaced. Hallelujah what a difference in how he feels! It is amazing. I have been praying about his pain-doesn’t have it anymore. I had been praying about how uncomfortable his defibulator/pacemaker was-doesn’t have it anymore. I had been praying about his breathing–he is breathing so freely now.This is great to see the Lord God answer my prayers.

Now my husband says “get well, too”–

More Answers!

cindyhfrench — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 02:35:19 +0000

I saw my wonderful primary care doc last week and filled her in on my life the last month or so. She had to keep the lights low, I thought I might have pink eye or that maybe the candida infection had gotten into my eyes. They hurt, were very gritty, like stuff was in them. She was very concerned that I could not get into my ophthalmologist until this week and when I told her of the trouble I was having getting in to see the infectious diseases doc-she said, “stay right here, I’ll take care of it”. And take care of it she did! I had an appointment with the eye doctor the next morning (most important) and then an appointment with infectious diseases the next Tuesday, early morning. Wow! what having a doc on your side does! She also changed the oral med I was taking for the mouth and lip sores since I had had no healing there at all and she told me to be sure that she got feedback from the docs on my visits.

Between then and now (the 29th) these are the scriptures the Lord has given to me–and how I have needed them! Grace-Filled Waiting- 2 Cor 4:4-18 We do not lose heart and Yet Will I Rejoice- Habakkuk 3:11-19 Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation. So here is what happened at the doctors-

I saw the ophthalmologist the next morning and truthfully, I don’t think I have ever had such a thorough exam! The first thing he said was-the good news is you don’t have an infection. The bad news is you have the dryest eyes I have ever seen since I have been practicing. This is why you hurt. I couldn’t believe that dry eyes would do that-and I had even had the surgery to help with dry eyes, so how could this be? He said is was all because of my rheumatoid arthritis. I couldn’t believe it-how could it affect my eyes? but he said it was and went on to say there were probably other areas of my body that were being attacked as well. I needed to see my Rheumatoidologist. I told him about the candida and that I was seeing an infectious diseases specialist on the next Tues and he said he’d get all the info on what he had done and ordered to her. In the meantime, he gave me 2 prescriptions for eyedrops-each 4 times/day and in between those times I was to use over the counter tears. AND then he gave me a prescription for several blood tests! I was shocked! I have never had that happen either.

Needless to say by the time we finally saw the doc on that Tues, she had a lot of information about me. What was amazing was that she had already read it. Then the second amazing thing happened. She said my major problem is that I have no immunity and that will get me killed. Right now, that is her first concern-to build me up. So she began to ask me what I did, what’s my stress level (ha), extra curricular activities, etc. I was downplaying it, but remember my sister was with me and spoke right up! The hardest thing for me to give up and what I can’t understand the Lord’s way in this is GriefShare. I also have to stop working at night, rest during the day-in fact rest as much as I can any place, any where, any time that I can. She said I really need to be aware of my surroundings at all times because that’s when triggers can strike and right now my goal should be NO ATTACKS–that way, no presnesdone or solu-medrol gets into my body. So I am really praying that I am attack free.

I have no idea how long I need to be so careful, but I am going to have to take the 3 drugs probably for the rest of my life and even if/when I get my immunity built up-no one is going to want to mess with it by giving me asthma drugs unless it is life and death again. Oh what a place to be in! Well I do trust the team I have now. I believe they can and will work together. So my part will be to pray and to rest and to rely on my God-no stress, remember?

The Night Before

cindyhfrench — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 01:50:14 +0000

My beloved husband has to get a new pacemaker in the morning. His heart ventricles aren’t in sync, so a pacemaker that will make all 4 work together is needed. He is a bit nervous about all this. He told me tonight, “Cindy, it’s not like you, You go all the time for surgery for this or that, but I don’t.” “I know” I said and told him to give his spirit to Jesus for safekeeping while he is out–that’s what I always do. That was written the night of Dec 19, 2011.

Today is December 29th and my husband has done superbly! almost no pain, in fact the almost constant pain he had had in the middle of his chest where they had cut it before is now gone. And he can breathe so much better! God has answered all my prayers for his recovery. How very thankful I have been as we were together through this Christmas. He says he feels terrific–and now he looks over at me and says you better get well! thank you Jesus for your healing stripes. thank you for your sacrifice. don’t let anyone forget what Christmas is really about this year, Lord. Thank you again for coming to our world to save us.

“I Know Exactly How You Feel!”

cindyhfrench — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 01:05:18 +0000

My favorite phrase these days, my validation for who I am and why I am living! But this is what God showed me last night and this morning: in Hebrews 4, Jesus is the Great High Priest. And even though he has been through the heavens, Jesus is our high priest who can symphatize with our weaknesses-our every sin-because he was tempted as well-yet without sin. He also knows what it is to be cold, be hungry, be thirsty–whatever we are except without sin.

So when I am going through some trial physical or spiritual, Jesus can say to me. “Oh Cindy, I know exactly how you feel! These are normal feelings, those are not-this is what the Father says about the trouble…” And then He proceeds to give me the comfort that I turn around and give to others, which is all II Corinthians 1:4. Isn’t that just the neatest thing? Because I understood about His comfort. He has given me so much of it over the years. I don’t think I would have made it without it. But I had never seen Him as the Person going through everything that I was…yet he was.

I guess what I want to convey in this posting is the unlimited, overwhelming, incredible love that Jesus has for his own that He would do this. Over and over He’s told me how He love’s me and how I need to trust him more-much more! And of course I do trust Him and remind Him I have at least faith the size of a mustard seed! But how I want to grow it and mature myself in Him. And of course, that means more prayer and Bible study! Thank you Jesus that you answered my heartfelt cry to make me want to study your word, to make me want to spend time with you. Now I have to work it out to do my other required tasks because I would rather be here with you. Thank you. On August 5, 2005 I prayed this prayer from Psalm 40:7-8 Then I said, “Here I am, I have come– it is written about in the scroll. I desire to do your will , O my God; your law is within my heart. A few days later, I was in the hospital getting a cervical fusion and had a stroke. God used that time with me to teach me love and patience and gentleness-but it took this last year to learn to truly trust Him. I have written about some of these experiences-my hospitalization, losing my voice, getting a puppy to get me out of bed; but I just realized that I haven’t written about learning to trust Him. Maybe He is not ready for me to write of it yet-because He directs my writing, maybe I don’t really trust Him enough yet. I think I do, but the Father knows all things and can certainly see my heart. Well, I am certain of one thing, eventually you will hear that story as well.

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cindyhfrench — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 00:07:30 +0000

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A New Pacemaker/Defibulator

cindyhfrench — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 03:46:17 +0000

Over the last three months or so, I had noticed that my husband seemed more and more fatigued and short of breath. These were symptoms of his previous heart problems –although I hadn’t known them at the time. He is supposed to see the cardiologist every six months, but now he had just gotten bumped for the second time which would make it twelve months. I SAID NO TO THIS!

Sometimes, well most of the time these days you have to advocate for yourself or you need someone to do it for you. I called and got the doc’s nurse- he’s my cardiologist too- explained what I was seeing and requested they see him sooner than later. The first time they called the appt was a wk away, then suddenly we were going the very next day! And I say thank you Jesus, because I was right. His ventricles are all on a different electrical pace not in sync, which if we don’t quickly fix it, his heart will wear out or just kinda tear apart.

Well what man do you know that just says ” sure doc, take care of the problem?”
No, my husband has to start talking about timing and money and he’s not sure he wants to go thru that surgery again!

So my request is for prayer for him. For God to calm his fears and his heart. For God to supply the money needed above and beyond what medicare and his supplemental ins cover. For God’s timing with the surgery. And of course for God ‘s guidance of the surgeon and his hands.
For me, that I will keep it together and live my faith in front of (and even behind closed doors) all that I come in contact with. That this time would be for God’s glory because someone somewhere will come to know Him because of our witness.

God has spoken to me and I’m not kidding

cindyhfrench — Sat, 19 Mar 2011 21:41:39 +0000

Anyone who has read my blog of the last year and a half knows of my journey. So please bear with me while I recount the last 2 wks. Two weeks ago, our pastor gave a sermon on stories and used my life verse, ll Cor 1:4 as the text. The jist of it was that really our life is not about getting there–the destination, it is about the journey. It’s about our experiences, our sphere of people we interact with (whether we want to or not), just everything that touches us. The Bible says that EVERYTHING that comes to us is filtered through His fingers. So for all my life I have asked, Why did you give my this body Lord? Why did I have to have this happen to me? Why can I not stay well? Why do I have to live with constant pain, Why, Why, Why? So how could my loving, gracious all powerful holy Father let this all happen to me? First I believe you really have to go to the Word of God for answers, for comfort, for knowledge, even for help in my believing, but unbelief too. This isn’t something that you get from self help books or even counselors–this is between you and holy God. So as I was studying in Isaiah in my weekly lesson, in one chapter it kept saying “in the womb I formed you” over and over and at first I grumbled but then I remembered in Psalms where God said He knit my innermost parts together and in Jeremiah He says that he has a plan to care for and prosper me. Then I went back to my life verse and as I began to read it, God began to tell me why. I never expected an answer! Afterall, He is God of all and doesn’t have to explain anything he does. But this is what he told me.

Cindy, I love you. I have loved forever and will always love you. Nothing will separate you from my love. My child your life has been a series of stories, sometimes miracles that I have done, so that whenever you meet someone there will almost be instant rapport because you and that person or their loved one has gone through the same physical trial you have and you know exactly how they feel and so can offer comfort. Physical issues and pain bring people together along with other things you’ve experienced. I know that you have been going through the trial of affliction and that you have had to come through a lot of losses in the past 3 years but my child, now you are truly dependant on me. My child, you must trust me for my promises. and then He said it again, Trust me.

So now I wait for Him to act on those promises. But I will never again complain about my body-all I will do is look about in anticipation of who the Lord is going to bring to me to share and comfort with!

Using the 4 Spiritual Laws

cindyhfrench — Sun, 19 Sep 2010 18:13:47 +0000

As I mentioned on my last posting, I had some really great news to share! I’ve often said that God never wastes an experience and He certainly used my time in the hospital.

On Thursday night after I was finally feeling better and more able to talk, I got a new roommate from across the hall as they needed her room for a contagious patient. The next morning I was able to talk to my student nurse and then my daughter about what Jesus was doing in my life right and my roommate wanted to hear! So I took my little “4 laws” booklet over to her bedside and together we went through it. She understood so clearly! And when I got to the prayer part where one can ask Jesus to come in to one’s life, she prayer there, right out loud! We finished the book together with her making notes in a little notebook. She also gave me her name and number for me to follow up with her. I am trying to arrange transportation for her to church when she is better. Now, she has a reason to go and worship!

My student nurse and I had this private suspended time while she was waiting on something or someone. It gave me the time to ask her questions about her schooling, time left, her family. Just stuff like that. Then out of my mouth came, “What are you going to teach your baby daughter?” That certainly was not a question I remember ever having asked before! But God knew it was the right question, because she didn’t know and she was worried about it. I asked her if she wanted to know some of the answers and of course she did! I gave her the other little booklet that I had and we talked about her coming to know Our Savior.

What a blessing Friday was! To have come through so much all week and then have God so richly use me was/is indescribable! Sometimes we do have to suffer to get where Jesus wants us to go. Obviously I couldn’t get well too fast, I needed to be there Friday! Now I am home on restriction, but am improving.

Keep Your Eyes Upon Jesus

cindyhfrench — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 20:35:57 +0000

Remember singing that song as a child or young adult? It was one of my favorites and still is, even though my church doesn’t sing a lot of the old hymns. Sheila Walsh just wrote on the Women of Faith newsletter what she thinks keeping your eyes upon Jesus means…I do agree with her. I guess I would put it in different words though. You see, I talk to Jesus all day long as I am doing my work-as a recruiter, remember. I pray my candidates through their interviews, I ask for His blessing on my marketing calls or recruiting calls. And yes, Jesus actually helps me do my work! Sometimes, it’s just that a name seems a little clearer than another. Sometimes it’s an exhaustive search, but always at the end, He comes through for me.

I have a little sign posted on my desk. It says: Good Morning! This is God! I will be handling all your problems today. I will not need your help…so have a good day! I love that sign–over and over when things don’t seem to go my way, I look at it and remember that it is going HIS way. That is what is important. That is what keeps me going regardless of what I am going through personally-and if you’ve read more of my blog, you know that I have been through it. But like Paul, I can say that this is nothing in comparison to Jesus-I just count it as loss, but I know that I know He is going to make something wonderful and beautiful out of my circumstances!