CindyFrench-stranger than fiction stories

about facing life with hope and confidence, no matter the diagnosis

Archive for the category “life stories”

01 Jan 2012
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More Reflections Isaiah 55:6-8 and Romans 8:37-39

As I read the notes from many blogs that come my way, one overwhelming theme is there for all of us. We don’t have to know  the future, because we know the One who holds it. After the year that 2011 has been what sane person is not ” seeking the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near. Let the wicked (anyone who is not perfect) forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the Lord, and will have mercy on him and to our God, for he will freely pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts and my ways are not your ways, declares the Lord.”       They are higher and deeper than anything we can imagine about us. What  I am/have discovered this year is this incredible love of God the Father for me–as He has told me over and over how He loves me and then as we began to talk together what I should do, not do, how I wasn’t trusting Him (I am now) And as I face the uncertainty of 2012 as far as my health is concerned–I know without a doubt that HE has a purpose in this new, added on systemic disease too. At the least, it forced me to go to a new doctor who was able to tell me exactly how sick I really am. For that I am truly grateful. I was headed down the dead man walking path and somehow, I do think God still has things for me to do and people to talk to.  But please pray for me that there is something that can be done for the RA pain. To move around is terrible! I feel like an old woman.

I close with one of my favorite passages: …in all things we are more than conquerors through him who loves us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future nor any powers neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Come quickly Lord Jesus!

Posted in asthma, Christianity, chronic fatigue, life stories, Religion, rheumatoid arthritis and tagged , , , , , ,
15 Dec 2011
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More New Meds!

We went back to the GI Dot today for follow up after my endoscopy last week. He told us that in all his years of practice, he had never seen such a bad, overwhelming case of this systemic candida.  I saw pictures and compared with what it is supposed to look like vs what it does look like is amazing. It’s like one of those powdered donuts you buy instead being a glazed donut. Yeah, pretty awful comparison, isn’t it?

Well, at least I know I am not crazy. There are physical reasons for all that I have been through and am going through now. I think the fatigue is the hardest thing, because it is so overwhelming. So I got a bottle of ProBiotics. I am to take a double dose every day for 2 months. I am already on the antifungal double dose for 3 weeks with the warning I may have to stay on it longer too. I am not sure how they will determine if the stuff is gone.

All I know is Greater Is He That Is Within Me Than He That Is In The World. I know He has a purpose to all of this. But I have to say honestly tonight, it is hard. The sores on my mouth are not healing, but seemingly worse and larger–I would assume because of the infection. But I don’t know who to see, or what to do about it-other than to pray.

Posted in 4 spritual laws, Christianity, chronic fatigue, life stories, Prayer, Religion, systemic diseases and tagged , , ,
11 Dec 2011
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A Systemic Infection!

I saw the pulmonologist. He said there is no need for the bronscopy, he knows it’s everywhere, now that he knows what it is.  As I did, he can track all my infections this year, and the thrush, and the smell. Of course, he looked at me and said “only you!”)  He has put me on an antifungal medicine that is many times stronger than the usual dose. Of course he had to explain that to the insurance company. But I am sure that they want me well so that I don’t continue with so many hospitilizations! And he told them this was the only way! So on the first night  I took 2 pill (400mg) instead of the usual 1pill. Then I am to take them for the next 13 days -gives me a full 2 weeks on the medicine- whereas most people only take the pills for as long as 3 days!  and I don’t know if part of the pill dosage can make a person drag-but this person is! Still I know it is extremely difficult to get rid of and I must get rid of it. They have STOPPED MY REMICAID untill I am rid of it! So now I will be crippled too pretty shortly.

Please pray that I will be strong in the Lord. That I will pray as I know and have experienced! That I will not get down with the pain and let it beat me! I am reading his promises for healing. I  am going to list them so that you can pray as I am praying them-there is power in that.

Jeremiah 17:14  Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me and I shall be saved, for You are my praise.

Psalm 77:10-14 I said, “This is my anguish; But I will remember the years of the right hand of the Most High.” I will remember the works of the Lord; Surely I will remember Your wonders of old. I will also meditate on all Your work. And talk of Your deeds, Your way, O God is in the sanctuary; Who is so great a God as our God? You are the God who does wonders; You have declared Your strength among the peoples.

Psalm 6:2-3 Be merciful to me , Lord, for I am faint; O Lord, heal me, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in anguish. How long, O Lord, how long?    (I underlined these verses in July of 04. I had not found Remicaid yet)

and then all of Psalm 90 which I won’t quote the whole thing here, just a short passage: 90:13-17  Relent, O Lord! How long will it be? Have compassion on your servants. Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all or days. Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble.  May your deeds be shown to your servants, your splendor to their children. May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands –yes, establish the work of our hands.  (underlined in August 20110, BUT  a lot of underlining in my old handwriting so pre 2005)

Posted in asthma, Bible study, life stories, Prayer, Religion, rhuematoid arthritis, surviving major health issues and tagged , , , , ,
07 Dec 2011
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Posted in Christianity, life stories, sleep apnea, Uncategorized and tagged , , , ,
04 Dec 2011
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FINALLY, AN ANSWER! –OF COURSE, NOT THE ONE I WANTED

I had an endoscopy this last week. It was to check my reflux-in fact to put a little camera in to measure things for 48 hours. We also did it to make sure I hadn’t grown any new polyps this year. Last year, there were 11 of them between my esophagus and stomach.

We ALL got the surprise of our lives to see that I had a fungus ( candidas) growing out of control covering my esophagus all the way down to my stomach. When it is in the esophagus like that they call it, esophagitis. Traditional treatment is Nystatin. It doesn’t work.  I came home and promptly googled everything about the bacteria/fungus. Although it is a natural bacteria residing in the body, when it gets out of wack, it is very dangerous and can make a person very sick. This I know for sure. I believe, based on my reading that I have systemic candidas. Everything that has gone wrong with me this year can be traced back to it. Even the smell of the “bug” as I called it. I could smell it. I kept describing as a sickly sweet smell-yes, yeast! And candidas affects ears, the mouth, intestinal gas, bladder and kidney infections, asthma, RA–does any of this sound familiar? It’s amazing that when it gets in your intestines, it can release 70 different toxins. And of course no culture ever came back positive. Candida is natural to the body!

So I have a plan of action! I am not going to succumb to this! Now that I have a name to pray against and lock up, I will. When I see my pulmonologist next week, I will ask for a bronchosopy. It stands to reason that if its on my esophagus, its on my trachea, in my bronchii, maybe even my lungs–which would explain all the horrendous attacks…yet again why there was no culture. I have also researched a supplement that I have been told about that should really impact this problem-called Protamdin. I have a printout on it and am taking it to the doctor too. Finally all the websites suggested a complete nutritional change-perhaps something as radical as gluten free. I will work with a nutritionist on that. Those are the actions I can take. But mostly I am going to the throne room of my Lord God. I am going to ask for healing of this scourge. Again, now that we know the name, we can pray against it and bind it in Jesus Christ’s name.

I certainly believe it is worse because of my witness. I am out front and center in Linkedin now-this blog address is listed. My beliefs are listed. And when replying to any discussion, it is always whatever God tells me to write. But greater is He that is within me than he that is in the world.

 

Posted in asthma, christian, chronic fatigue, gastrointestinal reflux disease, life stories, Prayer, rheumatoid arthritis, Spirituality, surviving major health issues and tagged , , , , , ,
04 Dec 2011
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Yes! A New Pacemaker!

Psalm 28: 7 The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.

and in Psalm 27:1 the Lord is my light and my salvation -whom shall I fear? the Lord is the stronghold of my life-of whom should I be afraid?

Oh, how I have claimed these promises in the last 2 weeks since we had seen the cardiologist! I certainly thought I was prepared for the worst. Even my children were-to the point of–Mom, you will be coming up here to live! But Hallelujah! I don’t think that God is finished with him yet either!  Our visit with the surgeon went very well and he showed us exactly what he would be doing with putting this new kind of pacemaker into Dennis-which will be smaller and much more comfortable-thank you Lord!-but the best news of all? What we couldn’t believe? His heart muscle instead of still being at only 28-30% capacity is now 47% capacity!  The doctors certainly don’t know what to make of it! But I do! My friends and I have been praying diligently for Dennis’ heart to strengthen-for this surgery and for his life–and so God has answered.

Surgery will be on the 20th, so we will have a quiet Christmas here at home. How thankful I am now that we were able to spend the week with the kids in Atlanta for Thanksgiving. That was some of the most precious time I have ever had with any of them…especially my granddaughters! How very thrilled we were when she told us that she wanted to ask Jesus to come and live in her heart. I spent quite a bit of time with her that night and yes Alyse was there and very interested herself. Then the following nights, Cailyn would always come and get me to “tuck her in” and we would again talk and talk. She has so many questions! I hope that she will be helped by her presents that she will be getting for Christmas.  Dennis and I gave it a lot of thought and searched quite a bit for the right things for her.

This of course is what I was living and hoping for-my grandchildren taking an interest in Jesus Christ. Who He is, why He came, what He did for us. I have been praying for this for a long time. Once again, God has been faithful to me.

Posted in christian, chronic fatigue, grandchildren, life stories, Religion, replacement pacemaker, second marriages, Spirituality and tagged , , , ,
23 Nov 2011
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Isaiah 51:12-16

The Lord took me back to Isaiah this morning and I thought I’d share. He has been so good to us this past week with answered prayer for the family. I think I wrote about prayer before. If I didn’t, I am sure, He will definitely have me write about it in the future, because these days, it all revolves around my Father God and His direction.

verses 12-16

 I, even I, am he who comforts you, Who are you that you fear mortal men, the sons of men, who are but grass, that you forget the Lord your Maker who stretched out the heavens and laid the foundations of the earth, that you live in constant terror every day because of the oppressor who is bent on destruction?   For where is the wrath of the oppressor?  The cowering prisoners will soon be set free;  they will not lack bread. For I am the Lord your God who churns up the sea so that its waves roar– the Lord Almighty is his name. I have put my words in your mouth and covered you with the shadow of my hand–I who set the heavens in place, who laid the foundations of the earth, and who say to Zion, “are my People”.

So you may be wondering, Cindy, what is so special about those verses? Well first and foremost, God is my Comforter. I know that regardless of what is happening in my world, He is there; that everything that touches me has gone through His fingertips first. I know that I should not live in fear. Fear from others. Fear from what is going to happen to my world. For the Lord God , my Maker stretched out His hand and made the heavens and the earth. I do not have to live in constant fear from the Oppressor of this world, I belong to Another. And He will, has always, is – taking care of me. I can count on Him like no other.  The Lord Almighty is His name and He not only puts words in MY mouth, He is my voice literally. He covers me and protects me so that regardless of all I have been through, I have still come out able to live, function, work, and experience joy!

Posted in Bible study, Christianity, life stories and tagged , ,
11 Nov 2011

Answered Prayers

Deuteronomy 4:7 (Moses is speaking) What other nation is so great as to have their gods near  them the way the Lord our God is near us when we pray to him. (At that time, the Lord traveled in a cloud by day and a fire at night above the Israelites. Kept them cool, kept them warm, and protected them)

IPeter 3:12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer…

 I had to talk about answered prayer tonight, because this week I say the Father answered my prayers-not all of them yet-but biggies with deadlines. When the others come to their deadlines, I am confident that He will have answered them.

I have a brother in law with a particularly slow growing leukemia-only last month it had taken off and the doctor was suddenly talking chemo. We prayed for the Lord’s will in this and He chose to stop it in it’s tracks! The blood looked good.                         

Then one of my sisters called and asked me to pray especially for her today because she had a big presentation that meant a huge sale for her company and a good commission for her. I prayed that she would have a clear mind, and clear speech, that the presentation would be all that she wanted it to be and that God would grace her with success. She called at 5 today to say it had gone so well and she had used one of my closing  questions to close.

Then another sister called. We had prayed long and hard about her mind accepting the math of real estate and the laws and ethics of real estate because she is taking the course right now and really needs to pass it. And as of Tuesday, she was batting zero. That’s why we prayed. I know that God listens and I know that He looks at our hearts as we are praying-He knows our motives. She is doing this to help support her family, what better, higher motive? And so as we went to His throne with confidence-the confidence that Christ gives us, we worshipped our Lord first as He deserves. He is our Creator, the maker of all things. Psalms 148 says “Let everything praise the Lord”–that includes inanimate objects, it includes everything He has made because ALL things, believe it or not make sound in some way and that sound is praise back to Him. So if objects can and do praise Him, then we are able to communicate in so many ways can do no less-everytime we think about it! We should praise Him, but I digress. I was talking about prayer. So after we worshipped our Lord and thanked Him for our every blessing, then we began to petition Him for brain power, for clear thinking and reasoning, for whatever it would take to pass the next 2 tests. So of course, when she called tonight to tell me that she had passed the first one, all I could do was say “thank you Lord, You are so good, Lord, Praise the Lord”. It was awesome! And we got praise reports on things we had been praying for in our Bible study group today, so I was pretty hyped when I went to my GriefShare group tonight.

I can’t really talk about what happens in group except to say the breakthroughs are happening. I see God answering my prayers for these suffering people and tonight was asked why did I know the answers in the Bible like I do?-it comes from studying His Word, I told them. It’s not like Sunday School-until you’ve done it, it’s hard to explain to another exactly what happens to you when you give yourself to study–but I know it changes you, you see more of what God needs to change in you–what you want God to change in you. For me, it’s the most important thing I do all week-because it is my time alone with God and believe me, He makes good use of it! Secondly, it’s Sunday church. I love it for the worship and the teaching. A lot of the time it confirms again in my heart and spirit what God has just taught me, so I know it’s not just me making that up!

For those of you reading this, if you aren’t in a Bible study but really want to know the Lord better–this is the way! and besides, imagine meeting all of the writers in heaven some day and you’ve never read their book!

Posted in 4 spritual laws, Bible study, christian, Christianity, GriefShare, life stories, Prayer, Religion and tagged , , , , , , | Leave a Comment
27 Oct 2011
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Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

Have you ever read a scripture so many times that you are sure of its meaning until you read it one more time–and then God turns you on your ear and says, “no, this is what it means?” Well this is one of those times. I was doing my Bible study lesson and reading about Peter, the Apostle and how God prepared Peter to meet and then preach and baptize Gentiles-something that as a proper Jew he would have never done-to do so would have been to become unclean. But God showed Peter a better way.

God could speak to him and show him a better way because Peter lived in close communion with Him. He was heavily involved in all of the church work at Jerusalem, but he never let it take away from his time with God in prayer. OH That Lesson Right There Is For Me! but there is more. Peter knew that God would choose the places for him to work and to preach, to testify of Jesus. So Here is The Real Kicker For Me–Do I choose what I will do and then expect God to bless it because it is good, beneficial work, or “Christian work”.  Or do I pray first so that God can tell me where He wants me to work  and when He wants me to do it.  Is this not the most important lesson I can learn and re-learn? Because when I do this, WHATEVER the work is, He blesses it enormously, and if I don’t ask-forget to ask, He blesses, but not as much. Because it isn’t doing the right, best thing He wanted done.

How marvelous are the scriptures when you just take a little time with them. This so reminds me of my Mama. She was a Bible student. I almost never saw her reading a “regular book”. She always said there wasn’t enough time to learn all that she needed to know-and this was the best Book to teach her. I am ashamed to say she nagged me a bit about it and at that time of my life  I wasn’t so interested in the things of God or what He had to say to me. It’s interesting that God gives us just enough rope to get into trouble, but He never lets go of us.  That time of my life that I went  through-when everything I touched was gold and I didn’t have a care in the world–I didn’t know what was coming down the pike! But God had a plan for me-to refine me and make me more like Jesus-to make me His witness to all those He was going to bring into my world. It was a lot of work for Him, but He says” He will accomplish that which He has started in us”. And I had given him my heart when I was twenty, so He had every right to begin the work in me…unfortunately for me and for most of us, that work will continue until we meet Him face to face some day.  And I say unfortunately, because the work is HARD, it is being stripped down naked and refinished by the Father, but with every little gain, “I can say oh, this was worth it!”

Posted in Bible study, Christianity, life stories, Religion, Spirituality, surviving major health issues and tagged , , ,
17 Oct 2011

Our New Life

We moved over the holiday weekend. Our kids came down and helped -a lot! I was very thankful. It took about a month, but finally we settled in–Sweet Dennis doing everything, unpacking, and re-tooling or fixing things to work for us in a better way. And we are only 10 minutes from the hospital! I can honestly say that I am truly satisfied–I think for the first time in my life. I have been wondering about why that is. Certainly my circumstances have changed financially, but that wouldn’t make a person want less-usually only more so! I don’t have everything I used to have in my new place-all the extra nice finishes, etc, but amazingly, that doesn’t bother me! Me who grew up wanting the perfect house-and actually having it for 7 years–not missing it or the finishes. The service people who have continued to see us have asked how we like the new place–all I can say is that I am so happy to have it and so comfortable and so satisfied. That is an amazing personality change for me, I have to admit. I was a shopper; I loved clothes and shoes and jewelry. I always wanted my house just so–and it was. 

This spring I took a personality profile for a client. I knew exactly what it would say. I had taken them previously for my company and I fit their GM profile perfectly-high dominance, high extraversion, high impatience. Imagine my surprise when my profile was read to me–dominance was mid-line (normal), high extraversion, high PATIENCE.  WHAT???   I kept asking my client if he was sure that he was reading it correctly. He was sure, of course–what was wrong? As far as he was concerned, this was a good profile of me! I asked him to email me the results so that I could read them over. And yes, really I had somehow changed.        

Now these seem to be two disconnected little stories, don’t they? But do you know that psychologists and all those who put those tests together and study behavior-especially life long behavior say that you can not change your basic personality traits; that their tests are such that regardless of how someone might try to “fix” the profile to match what the company is looking for, it is simply impossible to do that. So then my question had to be how was I so profoundly changed?  And for me anyway, these changes were truly profound.

After prayer and talking with my Holy Father, reading His Word, and at the leading of the Holy Spirit I began to find verses that said that we would be changed by the Word. It is sharper than a two-edged sword and cuts to the very marrow of the bone.    So after all the reading and praying and talking, I realized that God has been refining me just as He said He would. NOT THAT I HAVE “ARRIVED”, but only that finally there is some progress and growth in my life. This is encouragement to me and I hope to others that you can never be too old to change, for God to work on you or through you.                               

 

Posted in asthma, Bible study, christian, life stories, surviving major health issues and tagged , , , , , , | Leave a Comment

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