chronic fatigue « CindyFrench-stranger than fiction stories

Archive for the category “chronic fatigue”

01 Jan 2012

More Reflections Isaiah 55:6-8 and Romans 8:37-39

As I read the notes from many blogs that come my way, one overwhelming theme is there for all of us. We don’t have to know the future, because we know the One who holds it. After the year that 2011 has been what sane person is not ” seeking the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near. Let the wicked (anyone who is not perfect) forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the Lord, and will have mercy on him and to our God, for he will freely pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts and my ways are not your ways, declares the Lord.” They are higher and deeper than anything we can imagine about us. What I am/have discovered this year is this incredible love of God the Father for me–as He has told me over and over how He loves me and then as we began to talk together what I should do, not do, how I wasn’t trusting Him (I am now) And as I face the uncertainty of 2012 as far as my health is concerned–I know without a doubt that HE has a purpose in this new, added on systemic disease too. At the least, it forced me to go to a new doctor who was able to tell me exactly how sick I really am. For that I am truly grateful. I was headed down the dead man walking path and somehow, I do think God still has things for me to do and people to talk to. But please pray for me that there is something that can be done for the RA pain. To move around is terrible! I feel like an old woman.

I close with one of my favorite passages: …in all things we are more than conquerors through him who loves us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future nor any powers neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Come quickly Lord Jesus!

Posted in asthma, Christianity, chronic fatigue, life stories, Religion, rheumatoid arthritis and tagged asthma, Christianity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, life stories, rheumatoid arthritis, systemic candidas

30 Dec 2011

More New Meds!

We went back to the GI Dot today for follow up after my endoscopy last week. He told us that in all his years of practice, he had never seen such a bad, overwhelming case of this systemic candida. I saw pictures and compared with what it is supposed to look like vs what it does look like is amazing. It’s like one of those powdered donuts you buy instead being a glazed donut. Yeah, pretty awful comparison, isn’t it?

Well, at least I know I am not crazy. There are physical reasons for all that I have been through and am going through now. I think the fatigue is the hardest thing, because it is so overwhelming. So I got a bottle of ProBiotics. I am to take a double dose every day for 2 months. I am already on the antifungal double dose for 3 weeks with the warning I may have to stay on it longer too. I am not sure how they will determine if the stuff is gone.

All I know is Greater Is He That Is Within Me Than He That Is In The World. I know He has a purpose to all of this. But I have to say honestly tonight, it is hard. The sores on my mouth are not healing, but seemingly worse and larger–I would assume because of the infection. But I don’t know who to see, or what to do about it-other than to pray.

Posted in 4 spritual laws, Christianity, chronic fatigue, life stories, Prayer, Religion, systemic diseases and tagged Christianity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, systemic candidas

04 Dec 2011

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FINALLY, AN ANSWER! –OF COURSE, NOT THE ONE I WANTED

I had an endoscopy this last week. It was to check my reflux-in fact to put a little camera in to measure things for 48 hours. We also did it to make sure I hadn’t grown any new polyps this year. Last year, there were 11 of them between my esophagus and stomach.

We ALL got the surprise of our lives to see that I had a fungus ( candidas) growing out of control covering my esophagus all the way down to my stomach. When it is in the esophagus like that they call it, esophagitis. Traditional treatment is Nystatin. It doesn’t work. I came home and promptly googled everything about the bacteria/fungus. Although it is a natural bacteria residing in the body, when it gets out of wack, it is very dangerous and can make a person very sick. This I know for sure. I believe, based on my reading that I have systemic candidas. Everything that has gone wrong with me this year can be traced back to it. Even the smell of the “bug” as I called it. I could smell it. I kept describing as a sickly sweet smell-yes, yeast! And candidas affects ears, the mouth, intestinal gas, bladder and kidney infections, asthma, RA–does any of this sound familiar? It’s amazing that when it gets in your intestines, it can release 70 different toxins. And of course no culture ever came back positive. Candida is natural to the body!

So I have a plan of action! I am not going to succumb to this! Now that I have a name to pray against and lock up, I will. When I see my pulmonologist next week, I will ask for a bronchosopy. It stands to reason that if its on my esophagus, its on my trachea, in my bronchii, maybe even my lungs–which would explain all the horrendous attacks…yet again why there was no culture. I have also researched a supplement that I have been told about that should really impact this problem-called Protamdin. I have a printout on it and am taking it to the doctor too. Finally all the websites suggested a complete nutritional change-perhaps something as radical as gluten free. I will work with a nutritionist on that. Those are the actions I can take. But mostly I am going to the throne room of my Lord God. I am going to ask for healing of this scourge. Again, now that we know the name, we can pray against it and bind it in Jesus Christ’s name.

I certainly believe it is worse because of my witness. I am out front and center in Linkedin now-this blog address is listed. My beliefs are listed. And when replying to any discussion, it is always whatever God tells me to write. But greater is He that is within me than he that is in the world.

Posted in asthma, christian, chronic fatigue, gastrointestinal reflux disease, life stories, Prayer, rheumatoid arthritis, Spirituality, surviving major health issues and tagged asthma, Christianity, chronic fatigue, life stories, religion, rheumatoid arthritis, systemic candidas

04 Dec 2011

3 Comments

Yes! A New Pacemaker!

Psalm 28: 7 The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.

and in Psalm 27:1 the Lord is my light and my salvation -whom shall I fear? the Lord is the stronghold of my life-of whom should I be afraid?

Oh, how I have claimed these promises in the last 2 weeks since we had seen the cardiologist! I certainly thought I was prepared for the worst. Even my children were-to the point of–Mom, you will be coming up here to live! But Hallelujah! I don’t think that God is finished with him yet either! Our visit with the surgeon went very well and he showed us exactly what he would be doing with putting this new kind of pacemaker into Dennis-which will be smaller and much more comfortable-thank you Lord!-but the best news of all? What we couldn’t believe? His heart muscle instead of still being at only 28-30% capacity is now 47% capacity! The doctors certainly don’t know what to make of it! But I do! My friends and I have been praying diligently for Dennis’ heart to strengthen-for this surgery and for his life–and so God has answered.

Surgery will be on the 20th, so we will have a quiet Christmas here at home. How thankful I am now that we were able to spend the week with the kids in Atlanta for Thanksgiving. That was some of the most precious time I have ever had with any of them…especially my granddaughters! How very thrilled we were when she told us that she wanted to ask Jesus to come and live in her heart. I spent quite a bit of time with her that night and yes Alyse was there and very interested herself. Then the following nights, Cailyn would always come and get me to “tuck her in” and we would again talk and talk. She has so many questions! I hope that she will be helped by her presents that she will be getting for Christmas. Dennis and I gave it a lot of thought and searched quite a bit for the right things for her.

This of course is what I was living and hoping for-my grandchildren taking an interest in Jesus Christ. Who He is, why He came, what He did for us. I have been praying for this for a long time. Once again, God has been faithful to me.

Posted in christian, chronic fatigue, grandchildren, life stories, Religion, replacement pacemaker, second marriages, Spirituality and tagged Christianity, chronic fatigue, life stories, pacemaker replacement, questions about God

19 Mar 2011

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God has spoken to me and I’m not kidding

Anyone who has read my blog of the last year and a half knows of my journey. So please bear with me while I recount the last 2 wks. Two weeks ago, our pastor gave a sermon on stories and used my life verse, ll Cor 1:4 as the text. The jist of it was that really our life is not about getting there–the destination, it is about the journey. It’s about our experiences, our sphere of people we interact with (whether we want to or not), just everything that touches us. The Bible says that EVERYTHING that comes to us is filtered through His fingers. So for all my life I have asked, Why did you give my this body Lord? Why did I have to have this happen to me? Why can I not stay well? Why do I have to live with constant pain, Why, Why, Why? So how could my loving, gracious all powerful holy Father let this all happen to me? First I believe you really have to go to the Word of God for answers, for comfort, for knowledge, even for help in my believing, but unbelief too. This isn’t something that you get from self help books or even counselors–this is between you and holy God. So as I was studying in Isaiah in my weekly lesson, in one chapter it kept saying “in the womb I formed you” over and over and at first I grumbled but then I remembered in Psalms where God said He knit my innermost parts together and in Jeremiah He says that he has a plan to care for and prosper me. Then I went back to my life verse and as I began to read it, God began to tell me why. I never expected an answer! Afterall, He is God of all and doesn’t have to explain anything he does. But this is what he told me.

Cindy, I love you. I have loved forever and will always love you. Nothing will separate you from my love. My child your life has been a series of stories, sometimes miracles that I have done, so that whenever you meet someone there will almost be instant rapport because you and that person or their loved one has gone through the same physical trial you have and you know exactly how they feel and so can offer comfort. Physical issues and pain bring people together along with other things you’ve experienced. I know that you have been going through the trial of affliction and that you have had to come through a lot of losses in the past 3 years but my child, now you are truly dependant on me. My child, you must trust me for my promises. and then He said it again, Trust me.

So now I wait for Him to act on those promises. But I will never again complain about my body-all I will do is look about in anticipation of who the Lord is going to bring to me to share and comfort with!

Posted in 4 spritual laws, aspergillus fungus, asthma, bankruptcy, Bible study, brain tumor, breast cancer, breast reduction, cervical fusions, christian, chronic fatigue, Uncategorized and tagged benign head tumor, breast cancer, cervical fusions, christian, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, dealing with loss, death of parents, divorce, dysphasia, God Speaks, GriefShare.org, hysterectomy, miraculous healing, miscarriage, mitral valve prolapse, multiple surgeries, occipital neuropathy, polycystic ovaries, pulmonary embolism, reflux, rheumatoid arthritis, second marriages, single mom, sleep apnea, spinal tap, stroke

02 Jan 2011

2 Comments

Another New Year!

Survival, that’s what 2010 was about. That and hopefully starting a turnaround. Not just in business, but in life and all it touches. I will be 60 this year in June! I hope to celebrate with my sisters in St Simon. I hear all the time that your years are just a number and you are only as old as you feel, but I know that a certain amount of my energy, my will is gone. Sucked out of me by the stroke or the continuing health issues? Whatever it is, I can honestly say I will never be just what I once was. But then I look at that person and I am not sure I would want to go back to her either! Business ruled just about my every thought and was impossible to “turn off”. My corporate standings were always on my mind. Money wasn’t an issue (gee, that was nice) but again at what real cost of my spirit?

After 12 years of haphazard half done Bible studies, I have spent the last 5 years committed to formal study and what a change it is affecting! Continuous changes in me and hopefully my thoughts, behavior, work ethic, treatment of others sometimes surprise me and fill me with hope that God can and is working through me. One of my study passages in Isaiah 30: 20-21 “Althought the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more…Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, this is the way, walk in it.” Surely this is God reassuring me of the last 2 very hard years, yet his promise for leading for my future. Happy New Year!

Posted in christian, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, life stories, rheumatoid arthritis and tagged christian, chronic fatigue, life stories, multiple surgeries, stroke

08 May 2010

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A Miracle

After 18 months of no voice and trying everything my doctors knew to try, I was told I wasn’t going to get my voice back. My doctor suggested I go on disability. Dennis and I met with my boss and he said “you can’t afford that. You just keep coming in and inspiring us with your trying to work. I’ll keep paying you and keep your benefits” How awesome was that? By then I had gone back to work as much as I could. I whispered or sounded pretty horrible depending on what sound I could get out, but I was no longer really isolated. I still didn’t eat in public, but my positive attitude was back and I had joined Bible Study Fellowship on Thursdays and so was back in a formal Bible study which I had not been in for a number of years. It is amazing what being in God’s Word on a regular basis will do to your spirit! I didn’t realize that God was really working in my life, but He was. A lot of people commented on my attitude or happiness or joy that I seemed to have in spite of the voice. I found that I was sharing my faith more as a result. And it was so simple, flowed so easily because people asked me.

I still couldn’t accept my doctor’s diagnosis. No voice forever? So I took a page from James (New Testament) where it was if any are sick, you are to gather the elders and pastors together and they are to anoint the sick one with oil and then pray. I asked my pastors to do the same for me. God is still in the business of miracles, because He gave me my voice back! It is huskier and lower pitched and I have to protect it with just how much I use it in a day, but I talk with a “normal” voice! My doctor couldn’t believe it when I went back to him, but he is a believer and knows a miracle when he sees one! He says I am a walking, talking miracle!

The coolest thing is that this has only added to my story of God’s care for me. Those who know me and who have gone through this with me know absolutely that there is no medical basis for me to be able to speak, but I do. I can’t sing anymore though and I miss it, but someday, I’ll be in the heavenly choir singing praises to the King.!

Posted in Bible study, christian, chronic fatigue, life stories, stroke, surviving major health issues, Uncategorized and tagged christian, chronic fatigue, dysphasia, life stories, miracles, stroke

08 May 2010

Life After a Stroke

I didn’t really get the stroke diagnosis for about 3 months. I was referred to a Throat and Voice Specialist and after examining me, he asked me to see a neurologist. He didn’t explain the why of that thoroughly, just said that I might have some muscle issues. Of course I couldn’t talk yet. He did tell me that the vocal chords were still paralyzed and in whispers I could tell him about my issues with eating. I could not eat out in public as I never knew when I would choke and literally throw everything back up. These issues concerned him too and so pretty quickly I got in to see a new neurologist. This one specialized in neuromuscular diseases. WOW, that’s a death sentence. I went through all the testing over a six week time period and that included Christmas time. I’ll never forget my sister Marilou came to me and said, we are going to pray you through this. I just won’t accept such a diagnosis and can’t loose you! Thus began our weekly praying together. This is a whole different subject in itself and one day I’ll write about it, but here it is almost 5 years later and we are still praying together weekly.

So you know that since I am still alive, I didn’t have any of the neuromuscular diseases, but I had suffered a stroke. Back to the voice doctor, he planned surgery to move my vocal chords closer together, which would loosen them up. I also started speech therapy two to three times a week. Because I was so fatigued, he ordered a sleep study and we found that I stop breathing 86 times an hour! No wonder I was so tired! So he ordered a BiPap machine which I wear at night that forces air down my nose and throat. I hate wearing it, but I hate being so tired more. We decided to try for the surgery which could fix the problem, but for me it didn’t work.

All this time, I spoke in whispers or if I forced it, I sounded like I had the worst case of laryngitis you’ve ever heard. I wasn’t really working. How can you be a recruiter without a voice? But occasionally a local client would call with a need and my wonderful office would rally and find a candidate for me. I slept a lot and really withdrew a lot. If you knew me, you’d know that was just not me! But with not being able to communicate, not being able to eat or drink in public–I just felt cut off from everything.

About this time, my husband brought me home a puppy one day. He looked like a Benji dog-was supposed to be a terrier/poodle mix who would only grow to 15lbs at most. We named him Kirby because my husband said he was a curbstone setter. Having a puppy really got me up and out of bed. To potty train a puppy you have to be viligant. He would let me stay in the bed for a 2 hour nap, but then he’d bark at me to get up-even if it was to the sofa. We took walks in the afternoon and I got stronger. No voice, but the rest of my body was beginning to heal.

Posted in cervical fusions, christian, chronic fatigue, life stories, sleep apnea, stroke, Uncategorized and tagged cervical fusions, christian, chronic fatigue, dysphasia, life stories, sleep apnea, stroke | Leave a Comment

02 May 2010

These Last Nine Months

I noticed today that my love of cooking and planning a good dinner has come back to me! I’ve shared some recipes previously. This is amazing because up until the last 3 or 4 weeks, my husband has been planning, cooking and serving us. Not that this was a bad thing, but he has his basic things he can fix- I like a lot of variety with a lot of fresh vegetables. As I have said before, we eat mostly fish and some chicken and occasionally some beef. Every now and then, I”ve just got to have a cheeseburger and no one does them better than Dennis! Even Chili’s can’t beat him and they are good! Besides hamburgers, he still needs the occasional pot roast, or smothered steak with peppers and onions. But he has been really good to accept all the fish and seafood we’ve been having. I’m lucky he likes it as much as I do.

I’ve also started back at keeping my house. Cleaning up as I see a room that needs it, I feel like I have been rejuvenated or re-born. This afternoon, I worked at cleaning up my office. Now I think that a clean desk is the sign of a sick mind, so you know it really needed attention, but it was good to put some things away and reorganize others. I am back working full time now and enjoying it more than ever! That is really something considering I ‘ve been doing this since 1979!

God is so good though to keep my business bright and fresh. I never know who I’ll speak with that day or where they will be located. It is amazing that by praying over my work, I literally watch God bring the right people to me out of the hundreds I might have spoken with! Some are just so perfect that I could never have arranged all of the circumstances, the backgrounds of firm and candidate and ultimately their joined goals like God can! I wonder how I ever did this without praying over my work before I started a search. He certainly blessed me in spite of me!

So what happens next? I know I am not completely headache free. That probably means more nerve blocks in my future, but at least they are working for longer periods now. I know I have cataracts to get taken care of, but God willing nothing else major!

Posted in christian, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, Creativity, Uncategorized and tagged benign head tumor, christian, chronic pain, life stories, multiple surgeries | Leave a Comment

CindyFrench-stranger than fiction stories

about facing life with hope and confidence, no matter the diagnosis

Archive for the category “chronic fatigue”

More Reflections Isaiah 55:6-8 and Romans 8:37-39

More Answers!

More New Meds!

FINALLY, AN ANSWER! –OF COURSE, NOT THE ONE I WANTED

Yes! A New Pacemaker!

God has spoken to me and I’m not kidding

Another New Year!

A Miracle

Life After a Stroke

These Last Nine Months

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